Remembering

Today is a remembering day. I have a lot more of those than I would like. Days where throughout the day I'm reliving the events of that day one, two, and so far up to four years ago. And it will never end. For the rest of my life these days are going to come and wreak havoc on my emotions. So today what am I remembering? Malcolm's birthday is today. This is Spring Break week. We have a condo in Island Park, Idaho. Three feet of snow or so, and today is a beautiful sunny day. Last night my brother and his wife let us drop the girls off at their house before heading up here so we could have a night alone and get all settled in here. Thanks, Beau and Joanne! I'm having a bit of a hard time with not being home to go to the cemetery today. Dumb, because it is just a field with some rocks in it. And I know that. I know being there would not make a difference in what today is. And yet I can't help myself feeling sad and guilty. But at the same time, this trip is probably a good distraction, if I will let it be.