What's been on my mind

School is gearing up to start a week from Tuesday. Keira is starting 2^nd grade and Scharae will be starting 1^st grade. They’re going to be in the same class this year-I’m a tad bit nervous about how that’s going to go but I’m sure we’ll muddle through it alright. I feel like this year will be the make it or break it year for us and Bethany Charter School for more than one reason. Reason #1 being they’ll be in the same class every other year and if this doesn’t go well for them at all I don’t think it’s worth suffering through every other year. I don’t know why it shouldn’t go well, but I’m a bit nervous at the same time. When they’re together they tend to block out much of the world around them. The hope is that since Keira has had 2 years with her classmates and Scharae has had a year with hers they will have each forged their own relationships and won’t rely on each other to navigate the social situations. Reason #2 has to with me. I’m apparently going to be Booster Club chair (PTA/PTO President). Awesome. Not really my comfort zone, AT ALL. I am super nervous because a husband/wife duo has spent the last 4 or 5 years really building up the booster club to get more parent participation and last year was an amazing year for fundraising (Auction went from about $3,000 to $15,000 net) and I don’t know that I’m the person to perpetuate it! There is a small parent base who really does come out for the meetings but when it comes to getting parents volunteering to staff things like auction committees, the carnival, etc…sorely lacking. And I’m not the kind of person who will get on the horn and call every parent twice until they agree just to get me to stop calling.  So we’ll see. If I totally bomb this year as Booster Chair and make the school no money then I might not be able to show my face there again!

So onto my other thoughts about school starting. I keep hearing moms talking about how sad it makes them to have their kids starting school again (after they’ve spent the summer complaining about having their kids home all summer and they can’t wait for them to go back). I have decided I’m an anomaly here…that or it’s just not “ok” for us moms to talk about not being sad.

I’m not sad. I’m excited. I’m excited to see them head off for the new year. I’m excited to see how excited they are. I’m excited to hear all the things they learn, all the things they think of, all the things their little brains come up with and want to tell me. I’m excited to watch them grow up. I’m excited and happy to see them becoming more independent. And yes, I’m excited to have 7 (SEVEN!!!) hours a day for me. For me to work, for me to sew, for me to workout, to swim, to go to IKEA and not have to hurry through in an hour to get the girls from Smaland. To meet John for lunch in Portland. To not have to have my day interrupted by picking up a Kindergartener in the middle of it. I’m excited and I almost feel like I have to keep quiet about that to avoid being/feeling judged. How crappy is that? I should get to have my excitement just the way all those other moms get to have their anxiety and sadness about their babies growing up!

Whew. Sorry about that. These days there is so much about helicopter parenting and this and that and it seems like the opinions and judgments of what a parent should be doing and feeling are everywhere-and you can never win!

The girls really are getting so much more independent. They have started showering on their own-like each of them individually. This is super new and is quite a step for Keira-she kind of likes to have people around her, even in the shower! She still is quite anxious about the water temp so I have to really talk her through that. And I do check her hair for shampoo because I often don’t get it all rinsed out since her hair is so thick. But other than that, she’s good. She does have a goal to be getting up in the morning 15 minutes earlier (6:15!) so she can shower all on her own. We’ll see if that happens-we might have to do nighttime showers instead.  They’ve also started walking the dog alone every day. Well, yesterday and today. Keira really seems to latch onto that as something to do when she is feeling at a loss for something to do on her own. I think she and Scharae took Mazey for 2 walks together yesterday and she did 2 or 3 more times on her own and twice today. I let them cross the street (we live on a short cul-de-sac) and walk to the corner and then back down to the end of the cul-de-sac and back again. They usually manage 5-10 minutes before they’ve gotten bored of going back and forth. And they think they’re ready to walk the 4 blocks to the “yellow climber park” on their own now…I’m not quite ready for that in our neighborhood!

So, anyhow, those are my thoughts for these days. School’s starting. They’re excited, I’m excited, and John’s probably fairly indifferent other than making sure I make them do an extra math worksheet at home every day!